This year I was the recipient of a metaphorical open-top shit sandwich. I was told I was “nice”, then a list of things I was not good at, and given an ultimatum.
I wish I had called out the behaviour then and there, but I was tired so I said thanks but no thanks. It was bullying. It was uncalled-for behaviour by persons in power. I know that now.
My advice/lesson is: recognise when someone is using your work to degrade you and know when to walk away.
When renting out your home you want to break even as much as possible; I used to imagine my former landlords rolling in profits (may well be true, given I lived in overpriced apartments), but now all I want to do is cover my costs and be able to cover for in case of vacancy. It's still a very privileged position, though.
Here's a thought: experiencing a personal loss through the death of someone close to you changes your perspective forever. There is nothing quite like the prospect of loss for ever that teaches you that things in life can't be that bad. Although some things are, sometimes, very bad.
My father's death from cancer 15 yrs ago when I was a teenager taught me that. Nothing is that bad: we acknowledge our feelings, thank ourselves for being able to feel, and move on. We detach, but always remember.
Interface and visual designer most days, tea hustler other days. Sydney, Australia.
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